My Wait Problem.
The check-in counter for my airline at Gatwick Airport in London was ominously empty. I looked around for a representative, and not a single person could be found. After some further inquiries and waiting over two hours for an answer, it turned out that the discount carrier I was flying that day had canceled the flight, and I was about to be stranded in London for three more days. At least.
There are worse places to be stuck than London, but I needed to get home. Finally, I found an alternative flight leaving in four hours from Heathrow, "about a 45-minute coach trip along the M25", I was told. Any Brit reading this post is now chuckling because they know there's no such thing as a 45-minute trip on the M25 between Gatwick and Heathrow, except perhaps by helicopter. It took 3 hours. I think the KJV translation of my mood was, "His countenance had fallen," together with "he was sore displeased." I made my flight, but barely. And I was in a terrible mood that worsened with every minute stuck in a middle seat for nine hours.
The unexpected cancellation meant a significant delay in getting home. The answers took forever. The bus took forever. The flight felt like forever. This was not a good day.
I wish I was better at delays, disappointments, and waiting, but I'm not. I don't like waiting. I stand in front of microwaves thinking, "C'mon already!" I hate video clips that exhort us to "Wait for it." I have a wait problem.
Worship and Waiting
Sometimes there is a large chasm of frustration that exists between the way things are and the way we wish they were. That frustration is deepened when we know how to "fix" things but, due to unchosen and unwanted circumstances, all we can do is wait it out. We wait for the part to arrive, for the food to be delivered, for the closing date to be set, for the paperwork to be finished, for the exam result to be posted, for the recovery from the surgery to be complete, we wait for death… we wait. But what is the posture of our heart as we do so? Anxiety? Anger? Despair? All understandable responses, but what if we learned to worship in the wait?
If we pay closer attention, we might discover that waiting is part of our calling as Christians. It's part of our response to the Gospel. We are those who have “turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, and to wait for his Son from heaven…" (1 Thess 1:8-10). We aren't simply "waiting around doing nothing" but "waiting in hope for him."
Yes, I know poetry isn't everyone's cup of tea, but an occasional conversation with John Milton is often a help for the troubled heart, especially when it comes to learning the art of patient waiting as worship.
Milton was frustrated that his failing eyesight hindered him from doing what he believed was his work - his writing was his service to God, his everyday worship offered to the Lord. Nearly blind, all he could do was "wait." The waiting became a grace to Milton, an epiphany on worship and our work. It's a truth that humbles us as we come to terms with the fact that God doesn't "need" our service at all.
When I consider how my light is spent,
Ere half my days, in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my Soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest he returning chide;
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts; who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is Kingly. Thousands at his bidding speed
And post o'er Land and Ocean without rest:
They also serve who only stand and wait."
- John Milton - On His Blindness
They also serve who only stand and wait.
There are very busy angels - traveling "o'er Land and Ocean without rest." But Milton, pondering how late in life his blindness hindered him in his desire to serve God fully, observes other angels, the seraphs, standing on either side of the throne of God. They do not travel about but simply 'stand and wait.' Such is their service. These fire beings who antiphonally worship and adore God, declaring he is 'Holy, Holy, Holy' are serving simply in their waiting.
Perhaps today, you feel hindered. Perhaps shut down by medical treatment or hindered by a lack of funding for a project; perhaps family tensions occupy your energy, or the realities of what COVID is still doing have closed doors to the travel or extra spaces and employees 'necessary' for the work to which you are called.
When we find ourselves shut in and shut down, remember Milton's observation of the Seraphim - 'they also serve who only stand and wait.' He knew that God does not 'need' our work or even the gifts which he graciously gave us. Let us bear the yoke to which Jesus invites us, even when that means doing so much less than we thought we were supposed to do. Sometimes waiting is the work.
One of my prayers is that I will learn to bear the yoke of Jesus better, turning my waiting into worship rather than merely running about frustrated and impatient, or just standing around in despair and discontent. Sometimes all we can do is wait and when that is all we can do, let’s join the angels and archangels in worship singing, “Holy! Holy! Holy!”
Come to think of it, that's not at all a bad place to be stranded.